Worst of all, the monstrous final hours of the partner who outlasts its mate, since Binding is forever, even when the so-called “living” one is fused to a decaying, putrid corpse.Īlthough the physical abominations leave me reeling, still more soul-shattering is the utter forfeiture of privacy and solitude, an especially bitter hell for one whose preferred companionship has always been her own. The reality of it still stalls my mind: two bodies of the same or opposite sex, snipped and sliced and stitched together in a gruesome flesh-garment of jigsawed limbs, split bones, and sutured skin, afflicted with the vacant gaze and shuffling, stumbling gait peculiar to their maimed condition. Unlike O’Dell, who remains willfully ignorant of the details of Binding and still claims to fully expect a last minute reprieve, I’ve researched the procedure compulsively, read biographies and watched biopics of the Bound, conversed with holographic surgeons, and, prior to my conviction, toured the Museum of the Bound on the Plaza in Washington D.C., where visitors must sign a waver holding the Museum blameless if they pass out, throw up, or suffer permanent trauma from viewing the exhibits. Our sentence, to be Bound for life, is the penalty reserved for society’s worst: murderers, traitors to the State, and second through fourth degree sex criminals. My pretty brother, though condemned to the same fate as I, was merely susceptible and stupid.
I was the cunning, lustful one, the judge declared. The performance failed my carefully pantomimed remorse was judged a poor facsimile of penitence. “Enticed into his depravity,” hissed the gerbil-faced little defense attorney while I sat meekly, head bowed, trying to convey with every breath my profound and scalding shame. Especially galling if we’re right, since we both shared unsanctioned intimacies with Mother for years before we explored activities, deviant or otherwise, with each other.Īt the hearing, a venerable psychiatrist argued I was addicted to my sibling as surely as the psychonauts and ket-freaks in the floating colonies off the coast are in thrall to the black gusts of brain-burn, that having been kept homebound by Mother, I was both naive and eminently corruptible, a victim of my wicked brother’s perverse desires. Today is Mother’s last chance to see me before I am Bound to my brother.Īcid rises in my throat at the bitter irony of hoping for rescue from Mother, since O’Dell and I have long suspected it was she who, in a fit of pique or spite, reported us for what the law calls fourth degree sexual deviancy.
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Even if I braved the pain and wriggled free, shimmering vertical bands across the windows expose the presence of high voltage grids. If I could lift my head, I’d be able to glimpse the wing of what was once a dormitory at the University of Virginia and now serves as a Confinement Center for the most violent prisoners/inmates, but gel compression restraints, deemed more humane by hospital staff than electro-loops, ensnare my wrists and ankles. From my bed, I can just see the peaks of the October hills, dappled maroon and scarlet.
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